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Wednesday, July 24, 2024

16 sex positions for this holiday season

Because the best present is you...naked.

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For many, the holidays feel totally magical and the end of the year can signify a fresh new beginning. But for others, this time of year can also be super stressful. The pressures of traveling and gift giving can really pile on, and that new beginning can start to feel a lot like a deadline by which you have to have your shit together.

If you and your partner aren’t in sync during the holidays, all that stress has the potential to negatively impact your sex life, which, hi, no thank you. Enter: Christmas sex positions to get you out of your stressful holiday sex funk.

“Anxiety and pressure can be sex killers. You might end up with sex, but it could feel disconnected, clunky and disappointing,” says sex and intimacy coach Irene Fehr. “That’s because sex hinges on connection and energy levels in the moment, and unless you have a quiet weekend booked in a mountain chalet, you’re likely to be extra busy with holiday activities and making everything go perfectly.”

According to Fehr, the key to making sure that the anxieties of the holidays don’t affect your sex life is to not let that pressure make you think sex needs to be perfect. “Instead, focus your attention on the quality of connection with each other,” says Fehr. “Listen to each other, check in about what you want and need, be patient, and don’t take things personally. Stay connected throughout the day, and if something is stressing you, share with each other where you are and what you need, so that it does not come out of nowhere as a big surprise.”

If you’re too tired to get it on after an hours-long holiday party, snuggle up as you go to sleep, “then you might have enough energy to wake up in the middle of the night for some passionate love-making,” says Fehr. “Or do it in the morning, when you both are full of energy and desire for each other.” If the sex you’re having this time of year isn’t particularly wild or romantic, “don’t take it personally if things don’t go exactly as planned,” she says.

“Hold things loosely and roll with it.” More than anything, it’s important to listen to each other so you can support each other through it all. “The key is not to focus on perfect delivery, but on precision in how you listen to each other and sync up. When you’re connected, you can do anything together.”

Here are a few more expert-approved tips for how to make the most out of ho-ho-holiday sex.

Spice up the traditional gift of cozy footwear by keeping your feet warm during sex
“Research suggests that women are more likely to have an orgasm if our feet are warm, so whatever position you choose, leave your boots, socks or slippers on,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, resident sexologist at Astroglide. “Since our bodies are responsive to heat, consider using a warming lubricant like Astroglide Warming Liquid.” Go for maximum cozy with a comforting weighted blanket.

Use Christmas lights or tinsel to (carefully) tie each other up
“I love doing shibari bondage with Christmas lights and decorations so I can wrap and unwrap my own sexy presents!” says Miss Couple, an intimacy and relationship coach.

Toys, toys, toys
“If you’re short on time or have folks in the house, integrating sex toys can speed up orgasms and let you get back to the holiday action in a jiffy. Incorporate a vibrator into partnered sex with a slim or flat vibe that you can hold against your clitoris,” says Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of feminist sex shop Early to Bed. If you have a partner with a prostate, press that vibe against their perineum, or be generous (because that’s what the holidays are all about) and get them a butt-specific toy.

Some spicy positions and toys to put under the Christmas tree…

If you’ve been living in yoga pants for, oh, two-plus years now, it’s time to rediscover the glory that is lingerie. Present your fine-ass self in sexy lingerie that fits comfortably, sit on your partner’s lap facing them, and kiss your way down their neck while you grind against them. Tease them with your kisses before you let them unwrap you.

What better time of year to play dress up in bed than Christmas? Have them dress up as Santa (at least their top half) as let them hear how good you’ve been this year. “Sit sideways on your partner’s lap with your arms around their neck to try the Santa’s lap position,” says Marsha Jackson, a sex counselor who specializes in queer and gender fluid people. “As they penetrate you from underneath, use your sexy whisper to tell them what you really want to find under the tree for Christmas.” (If you’re really into it, spring for the extra Santa accessories. Santa rubbing you with his gloved hand? White beard + oral? Yes please!)

Wanna get it on but feel super awk doing it at your parents’ house? Two words: shower sex. Give your partner the gift of waterproof sex toys by putting together a gift basket full of ’em and putting them to good use. “Join your honey in the shower (perhaps to sneak away while staying with relatives) and allow the heat to build between your bodies,” says O’Reilly. “Kneel at their feet for a hot oral session or sit in one another’s laps for rear entry. Be sure to keep a silicone lube on hand to keep things slick and slippery between your bodies.”

Go big with a jumbo kit of couples toys. Take turns picking one or two things out a night and figuring out how to have your way with them. Wrist cuffs + internal stimulation? A vibrating stroker and a blindfold? Hmmmm…so many possibilities.

Arousal gels and creams help focus your attention and increase sensations. Try an arousal cream with a little bit of menthol, cinnamon, or mint (seasonal!)—penises, nipples, and vulvas read the tingliness as arousal. (Some can be a bit much on tender bits, so start off with a wee amount and be ready to flee to the shower if it’s less sexy and more burny.) Get a selection and try them out by dabbing them on slowly for maximum buildup.

If your partner has a prostate, move beyond the basic finger-in-the-butt move to a toy that gives him deeper, more direct stimulation. For the best results, stimulate their penis until they are very aroused. Slowly slide a lubed-up prostate vibrator into their butt, pressing it on the upper wall until you find the nerve-rich prostate gland a couple of inches inside. People with penises report that orgasms with prostate stimulation can feel deeper and more intense. Merry Christmas.

Gift them a set of candles that melt into warm, silky massage oil as they burn for some fun wax play. It’s sexy lighting that gently scents the room as you pour warm drops of the oil into the small of your partner’s back, between their toes, down their inner thighs. Rub as you go and watch them melt for you, then slip your hand under their hips for the best massage of all. (Use regular lube if anything’s going inside someone.)

Couples boudoir photography is becoming more and more of a thing, but if you don’t want your naked self in a photo studio, go with an instant film camera, so you can do whatever the hell you want with the naughty photos. Go soft-core sexy (like placing their hand on your boob), or super raunchy (like a POV shot of them about to go down on you), or turn the timer on and let it capture you ravishing each other.

12 Days of Sexy is like an Advent calendar, but instead of mediocre chocolates, each little compartment is filled with a sexy toy, like a blindfold, a diamond-shaped vibrator (fancy!) or the MAZE Tassel Choker that doubles as a whip. Treat yourself every day, and then some.

Make shower sex workable with something to hang onto to get yourselves where you need to be. Press yourself tightly into the corner while they hang on to the handles, propping their foot up on the footrest to get in deep and close. Kind of like spooning while standing, but more intense. (If you accidentally leave the foot rest up, it’s good for shaving your legs too).

Mix edible flavored lubes like a MFing lube artisan. For a coffee lover, try a trickle of salted caramel with mocha java leading up your thighs—instant caramel macchiato! For a morning toss, try pomegranate and cinnamon bun for a tart/sweet breakfast theme. Or create a makeshift appletini (lil shot of vodka for them, followed by a dollop of candy apple on your boobs). Don’t forget to return the favor, since this is supposedly a gift for them, after all.

No matter what you or your partner have going on in their pants, there is fun to be had with a Wand vibrator. Most clit owners know the glory of the wand, but if your partner has a penis, let them in on its powers by having them stand at the edge of the bed, pressing the wand into the base of their shaft to create a Magical Vibrating Penis for you and some serious throbs for them.

For a pretty broad hint that you’d like to go Fifty Shades, spring for a big ol’ box of toys. Test it out with one of you lying face down with your wrists bound via cuffs. Try a few flicks with the flogger and go from there. Pleasure/pain mixes work best, ie., ice followed by your warm mouth, or a smart smack, then a gentle caress. (If you’re not feeling spendy, put together a starter BSDM kit with a spanking tool, blindfold, and soft restraints in a fancy box from the dollar store).

If you like things wet (no further questions), get yourself a lush throw that lets you get as messy as you want and ensures no one gets left with the sad, cold wet spot. Pick a blanket side (velvet microfiber or satiny), then lube the hell out of each other. Seriously, drench yourselves till you can barely hang onto each other. Lie on top of your partner, chest to chest, and slide back and forth, trying to keep them inside you while rubbing your clit on their pelvic bone.

Pamper your sapiosexual with a sexy literary subscription box. Every three months a new box ships in a secret faux-book storage case (shhh!) and features five full-sized products centered around a theme. New subscribers start with “The Rendevouz” with its erotic story, bondage tape, bullet vibrator, blindfold, candles and lube. Break out the blindfold, the bullet vibe, and let the plot thicken.

For a gift that’s secretly for you too, give your favorite penis owner a luxe vibrating cock ring. It keeps them harder longer, for more explosive orgasms (and provides perfectly-placed clit vibrations for you.) Try a more grinding than thrusting missionary, so you can angle yourself them.

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